


tidal wave

by masyaf



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, eternal summer more like eternal suffering, in lieu of episode 11, the worst possible thing i maybe couldve done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2289017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masyaf/pseuds/masyaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants to reach out for him, but can’t, can’t bring himself to.</p><p>He thinks of Makoto letting go of his wrist when they both stood on the overlook, thinks of Makoto letting go of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tidal wave

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this to make myself feel better but ended it by making myself want to jump headfirst into a volcano

Haruka’s feet don’t stop until he’s home. Breathing heavy, he tears off his pullover, pants, and throws himself into bed. The same constriction he felt during the regionals race, the one grabbing at his limbs, his chest, his throat- that’s how he feels now. Only everything is amplified, and he is not underwater. He is on land, and it’s more difficult for him to breathe than it ever was submerged. His eyes sting and he pulls the covers closer around himself. He winds his arms tight, grips his shoulders and squeezes.

Makoto’s words ring loud and hollow in his ears, bounce around in his skull like they’re trying to fracture it, and as deep as Haru tries to suck in a breath, he is still alone.

*

Sometime later, (maybe minutes or hours, Haruka doesn’t know) the sound of the side door opening and sliding shut carries into the room. A slight draft comes in when the bedroom door swings open afterwards, clicks closed quietly. Haruka can tell by the gait, the weight of the footfalls. He knows Makoto by the sound of his breath, the slant of his shoulders, knows that it’s him right now even without seeing.

The opposite end of the bed dips, Haru feels his heart beat ragged as Makoto sits down. Haru doesn’t stir, stays in the same position wrapped up in the blanket. Makoto moves closer, settles in the empty space beside him. When Haru finally turns to face him, he looks so small, shrunk into himself with his shoulders down and his face downcast, that Haru could cry. He wants to reach out for him, but can’t, can’t bring himself to.

He thinks of Makoto letting go of his wrist when they both stood on the overlook, thinks of Makoto letting go of _him_.

Haruka stares up at him, quiet, and when Makoto meets his eyes he struggles.

“I,” he stops.

He props himself up, unable to care anymore, and falls into Makoto. It’s rough and painful when their elbows and knees collide, but Haru feels Makoto’s arms wrap around him, and his pulse slows.

“I,” he tries again, but stops when Makoto nods against his shoulder. Haru’s hold on him tightens. Makoto shifts, nods again, chin dragging over the top of Haruka’s head.

He leans back, tilting forward a little to kiss Haru’s forehead, the crest of his cheekbone, the bow of his lip. Haru’s breath comes back to him; he fists the material of Makoto’s shirt and simultaneously reclaims a grip on the world.

Makoto pulls him close again, presses Haru to his chest and says into his hair, “Come with me.”

*

Haru jolts awake with the sun in his eyes. He is alone is his bed, and as the realization that Makoto was never there crashes over him, he feels like he is drowning.

**Author's Note:**

> water related titles lmao lm a o oo i'm so broken


End file.
